Dishonest Dating: The Yarns Older Men Spin To Impress

Many is the woman who’s admitted to spending morning’s leaping out of bed to apply makeup whilst her new partner slumbers in the early phases of a relationship.

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As more of us separate later in life, it stands to reason that more of us are finding ourselves back in that ‘first flush’ phase – remembering how to be on our best behaviour whilst we attempt to start a new partnership.

For women, that often means new undies, fresh perfume and careful language, but did you know that men feel the pressure to behave differently too?

Commissioned by premium online dating platform, EliteSingles, a recent survey of 1323 UK men who have been in a relationship found more than half have changed their behaviour or views to impress a new partner.

Whilst funny, and even endearing, this could be difficult. There’s many a man who privately feels a bit cheated by the reverse to more normalised behaviour once a relationship ‘settles in’ and us women do too.

It might not be Wonderbra’s and Spanx, but laying off the farting and being much more groomed are the equivalent.

There is a more serious angle – for instance, many men surveyed suggested they’d lie about wanting a family, or pretending smoking.

Senior dater *James, 52 from Peterborough said:

“I came out of my divorce bruised and insecure after a period of intense criticism

“When I met my new partner, I thought she’d be more impressed if I said I was politically inclined. I thought I might just have to attend a rally or two.

“Instead, I ended up having to feign interest for the better part of a year. I finally drew the line when I was expected to vote for something I didn’t believe in. I know I could have done it privately but it felt wrong by this point, so I came clean.

“She was furious – and whilst we’d enjoyed a wonderful time together, what started out as an innocent attempt to impress her soured when she questioned how far she could trust me’.

Of course, some are just funny – so here’s a full list to consider if you’re taking your first steps back out in the world!


Not breaking wind (at least not when your partner is around)
Stopped swearing
Maintained a tidy house
Trimmed your body hair
Cut back on fast food
Purchased expensive aftershave
Watched entire episodes of Strictly Come Dancing or the X-Factor
Started dieting
Claimed to be interested in politics
Claimed to be interested in environmental issues
Bought an entire new wardrobe of clothes
Claimed to enjoy Bridget Jones movies
Stopped smoking (or pretended to)
Claimed to like cats
Started going to the gym
Implied you had a very busy and popular social schedule
Read and/or watched 50 Shades of Grey
Pretended you are more family-orientated than you are
Written poetry
Claimed to like dogs
Bought a more expensive shower gel
Pretended not to like football
Claimed to like Ed Sheeran
Watched entire episodes of Sex and the City
Given money to charity
Joined a ballroom dance class
Given money to a homeless person
Got a tan
Enrolled in yoga sessions
Read a ‘chicklit’ book
Embarked on a vegetarian diet
Raised money for charity
Been on an political march
Taken part in activist activities
Embarked on a vegan diet
Attempted to learn to play a musical instrument
Started cycling to work
Claimed not to like sci-fi
Claimed not to enjoy action movies
Had a manicure

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