Janey Says: What I Learned About Love and Relationships Abroad

This June is like no other for me.  Long anticipated, I realise that I’ve been working towards it for months, and being the good Virgo I am – I have a list and am counting down.

It brings about a culmination of many massive things in my life;  My only son’s wedding at the end of May for one – and the soon to be – arrival of both my grandchildren another.

All things in my life with moments to be treasured – but suffering from Fibromyalgia – also a very real need also to put myself in a position to cope with all of the loveliness of it all – with as much energy as possible.

I have never accepted ageing;  I know we’re all getting older, but being in denial of limitations helps me;  I think I would find it all too easy to say no to the fun things that crop up if I were more sensible and knew that the next day I might regret my excesses, but to say yes and know that tomorrow’s another day and I’ll deal with that when it arrives, seems to me to be a more optimistic view.

Of course we all have to be realistic and not embarrass ourselves or our children with really inappropriate behaviour – but similarly we must be allowed to live our lives as individuals  –  take the consequences, and not feel a need to slip into the ‘box’ of what might be expected of us and where we feel like onlookers.

I have never accepted ageing;

Too often I see people ‘on the outside looking in’  – smiling – but having no real conviction that their company is valued or worthy.  They convince themselves that they’re lucky to just be.

They convince themselves that they’re lucky to just be there – that to keep quiet and smile will ensure their next invitation.

After the wedding (which was glorious by the way) I took off with Bill on a road trip through; France, Italy, Switzerland and back via France again.

Being the last time for the foreseeable future I would/could want to be away from my girls – I thought it best to seize the moment, get some sun…fun, and as much ‘energy in the bank’ so to speak of, to recharge the batteries for the next stage.

janey

We set off early Monday morning for two weeks of pure indulgence. With the car packed with all the things I believe necessary – but in truth never use…I have never felt more liberated.

While on this trip I had the opportunity to observe other nationalities of a similar stage in life and it was fascinating.

I am very proud of being British and have huge respect for all that our country offers and stands for – but oh my goodness I think we could do ageing so much more happily, and graciously.

I watched older people in restaurants, supermarkets and even on the beach, and they seem to have got it right in ways that we’ve forgotten.

A mutual respect and enjoyment of their partners seemed prevalent to me.  No bickering or boredom – they seemed to find subjects to engage with one another on, no matter how mundane.

I’m sure they still have moments of wishing they were surrounded by a few fun lively people, but they seemed to happily make the best of what they had.  They wore clothes that reflected them, with no slipping into the sensible beige.  Very ordinary folk up to the ages of 85 I should guess – they seemed more positive in the very definite knowledge of their worth.

I watched people in restaurants, supermarkets and even on the beach, and they seem to have got it right in ways that we’ve forgotten.

All of this is to be admired, and although I know it’s easy to draw unfavourable comparisons, it’s also easy to dip in and take the best of what you see and make changes.

The election, Brexit, and the total idiot in control of the US.   So many decisions taken on our behalf –  it’s no wonder we sometimes feel powerless to control our future and get low as a result.

But actually, I think this trip has proven to me that our future is about tomorrow… with the people we have in our lives – and our resolve to see and take all the joy that’s available to us – and let tomorrow take care of itself.

 

 

 

 

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