As you may already know, I have found myself hanging around hospitals a bit recently; nothing scary – just boring stuff for me, and a load of pre-natal stuff with the kids.
Appointments inevitably run late – so I found myself observing the other patients while trying to kill time.
What had the most impact on me? Men! Blokes, chaps, guys! Call them what you will, but I find myself fascinated by the male gender, and how they’ve changed since I last had a good look at them.
OMG were these men fantastic
I’m not talking about the older ones of 50+, but the young hip groovy ones that if you were (in my case a lot) younger, and met in a pub – you might fancy!
The main reason these handsome chaps were hanging around the waiting room with me is that their wives/girlfriend/SO were preparing to give birth, some of them immediately.
Whether delivery was four weeks off, or imminent, most of these women were in need of comfort – and OMG were these men fantastic. Rubbing stomachs and backs, kissing and holding hands – these ‘new men’ were marvels.
One was doing the breathing exercises with his partner while he fiddled with the ‘Tens’ machine around her neck. The other had a back pack full of goodies just in case she fancied a smoked salmon and caviar blini with a glass of freshly pulped beetroot juice!
Naturally, I was impressed by these miracle men – but secretly I think a bit jealous too. In my day having your husband actually at the birth was a bit ‘racy’, and to have them away from work while they massaged feet in hospital – well – they’d never have considered it as manly, sensible, or indeed necessary!
I couldn’t help but wonder though, was this a good thing? Is all a new mum wants a man who helps clean the expressing machine whilst on paternity leave – and spends days on his computer researching the fundamentals such as ‘should you wash brand new clothes before putting them on your child’?
Back to me and my life and my ideals. Yes, I would have loved a husband who was totally immersed in the parenting experience. To know that supper was being taken care of by my devoted spouse would have been lovely, as well as the ‘I’ve made a list – please can you check it all off to make sure you’ve done everything properly’ luxury support.
My worry is that crossing the line of what these men were like back in the day and are now becoming, might be a bit of a problem long term. All I’ve noticed and listed above is incredibly desirable especially in this magical bubble of new or impending childbirth – but new men do please think!
I must say at this point that if there ARE any new men reading this then I’m even more worried… but I digress.
Whilst all the touchy-feely support is wonderful, women love men – we are programmed to. When the stitches have healed and the desire returns; often what we really fancy is a wonderful dinner with a few bottles bottle of wine… then being thrown over a shoulder and ravaged! There’s a lot to be said for not letting completely go of the inner caveman you know….
After all – we may love a man who says ‘no darling – it’s far too soon…I’ve googled it. Let me make us a nice cup of peppermint tea and I’ll rub your back before putting the washing on – there’s an interesting documentary on tonight about the wonders of Placenta – and I thought I’d just prepare tomorrow’s lunch before slipping off to my camp bed so you and the baby can get a good night sleep…..’
BUT we frequently fancy the ones who turn up, tells us we’re gorgeous (yes, even in massive knickers) and remind us that there’s a lot more to our relationship than (thoroughly modern) Mum and Dad.