Janey’s April Letter: Into Every Life a Little Rain Must Fall

I was secretly amused yesterday when it poured with rain!

From being a small girl I remembered my father telling me every Easter ‘ that it never rains on Good Friday’  and for that reason, I was going to be able to wear my new bonnet.  He said that his mother had told him the same when he was a boy, and how naturally,  as always  – she was right!

So you can imagine my joy when the heavens invariably opened and we all got drenched. I would drag him to the window and say ‘ see, it’s pouring’  and he would grumpily say; that’s not rain, that’s angels tears – and disappear into another room for the rest of the day to avoid the ridicule.

Whenever I go back and remember things from my youth it inevitably brings a bit of sadness.  Not all fluffy kittens and Barbie dolls, we all have a few knocks as we grow, and remembering them serves to remind me how good things are now, and to be grateful.

It made me sad recently to read an article about a woman who had just moved out of the marital home of 28 years and struggled to find herself alone.  Obviously, she knew she would be, but how when she opened the front door to her new house and smelt the unfamiliar scents, how lonely she suddenly felt.

Not all fluffy kittens and Barbie dolls, we all have a few knocks as we grow, and remembering them serves to remind me how good things are now, and to be grateful.

The sounds at night worried her, and at one stage gathering all her courage she went to the kitchen to confront the suspected intruder, only to find much to her relief it was just a cat who had let itself in – as it had probably been doing for ages – through the ancient cat flap.

Starting again can be daunting.  No matter how able we women are to cope, there’s no point sugar coating that fact.

Years spent looking after a man, generally raising a family at the same time, it so often happens that when the kids fly the nest the truth of the matter is that we’ve lost touch with the man…we’ve just been too busy.

I can remember sitting in my warm cosy kitchen one day and thinking: ‘What on earth am I going to do?

‘I can’t shop anymore, even I’ve run out of things to buy’.

Starting again can be daunting.  No matter how able we women are to cope, there’s no point sugar coating that fact.

A bitter divorce had led to losing many of my friends (who didn’t want to take sides).  I would quite literally – rather like the old Mike and the Mechanics song said – pour myself another cup of coffee and contemplate the future with more than a degree of fear and foreboding.

My recovery, if you can call it that, began with finding a life coach who came and sat with me and showed me a ‘pie chart’ and how to organise my days, which would inevitably kick start some sort of routine. This worked.

I stuck rigidly to that chart, doing the most mundane stuff – and bit by bit I got myself back to having an independent and fulfilled life alone again.

As is so often the case when you’ve done the groundwork, life opens up and a whole lot of new things flood in and you find yourself in a completely different place. Generally, this brings a whole new set of experiences and a few lessons…but it’s all to the good and we know we’re at least living a life and have survived and are stronger happier women as a result.

All of this happened to me fifteen years ago. And now, as I pack my suitcase ready for a trip to Mauritius ( to see Bill’s son marry his gorgeous Mauritian sweetheart ) I count my lucky stars. Life has moved on and I only wish in those dark lonely days I could have had a quick glimpse of the future – my goodness how that would have cheered me up!

No longer living in the sticks – I’m back to being a London girl. Now when I have a spare day it’s so much of a pleasure it’s a stress to know how to properly enjoy it!

Even discovering I had MS – which would at one time have left me distraught – now is no more than an inconvenience to be borne, as I juggle to do the things required of me.

So now as we go forward into a new spring I wish you all love, and for some, the courage to do the things that will ultimately make you so much happier.  Let the coming back to  life of nature herald your own unfurling – and little by little, when summer comes so will sunny days for you, in more ways than one.

 

 

It was last year when the idea of a site for other women like me dawned – active, busy and ambitious women who just happen to be older.

Firstly it was going to be just fashion, but very quickly I realised that if I were going to write anything – then it would have to have more meaning than just that.

I decided to incorporate lifestyle and wellbeing and make the whole thing truly interactive and inclusive. I felt that with these issues covered, then there really was no end to what could be discussed and discovered – and who may benefit as a result.

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