I surprised myself last week by getting the decorations down early. Normally, I leave it to the twelfth night fearing that doing it sooner would bring some sort of bad luck omen to wreck the year before it begins!
Not this year though! I’d barely gotten to the second of January before the tree was on the compost heap and the baubles were safely stashed away in the shed.
I normally do this with some sadness, ‘It’s all over, what will we do next year’ and a great deal of wondering what I could have done to have improved the last one, but this time it was different.
Can you grow up at 67? Learning and evolving never stops, but, were I to be asked that question, I was have surely said ‘No’.
We are pretty set in our ways by that age and continue on in the same old same old without giving it any thought – or even considering a meaningful change.
‘It’s all over, what will we do next year’
But it’s become obvious to me that I have to. I had the most wonderful Christmas with all three of my children, partners and grandbabies around the table.
But I recognised – for the first time – that things are different.
Those idle creatures that lie around demanding sandwiches and the remote control are now fully functioning successful adults and parents, and that I’m the dinosaur here.
I’m the one keeping us all in a time warp. They indulge me by allowing me to believe that I’m still the vital link without which all would collapse. They turn a blind eye to the fact that due to MS I’m weaker. They know that to give me the ‘sit down relax chat’ would annoy me when I’ve obviously got to be up and indispensable!
How stupid am I?
So. My reasons for welcoming in the new year are many and varied
I’m thrilled to be able to get away from ‘jolly’ songs, Brexit and utterly garbage tv (did I mention that I have also become even less tolerant and more irascible) and the feeling I’ve got to keep all the balls in the air, or the resulting collapse would be a failure I’d firmly place at my own door.
Really though its the recognition that the changes I have subconsciously dreaded are actually pretty wonderful. I can take up a new position in the family.
Grande Dame – a sort of Maggie Smith…I will still be involved in the lives of those I love, but from a more genuinely interesting perspective – rather than a feeling of guilt if I don’t.
So – I embrace 2019 with the feeling of liberation.
Let the future do what it will; and let us all embrace the natural changes that continually occur – even when we’re unaware – without fear or dread.
Let’s put our heads up to the sun, and with a feeling of delight take our gin and tonic to the garden hammock calling ‘ you know where I am…let me know when lunch is ready’!
It was last year when the idea of a site for other women like me dawned – active, busy and ambitious women who just happen to be older.
Firstly it was going to be just fashion, but very quickly I realised that if I were going to write anything – then it would have to have more meaning than just that.
I decided to incorporate lifestyle and wellbeing and make the whole thing truly interactive and inclusive. I felt that with these issues covered, then there really was no end to what could be discussed and discovered – and who may benefit as a result.